First impressions are very important. Nobody could meet actor Tom Selleck without noticing the caterpillar above his lip. Even the most trusted man in America Walter Cronkite is remembered for the ‘painter’s brush’ mustache that accompanied his words every time he spoke to us.
But despite their positive representation, the popularity of mustaches has ebbed and waned throughout the ages, and in America today we find ourselves at a low point of mustache-acceptance. Mustaches have always been politically-charged. They've been banned by kings, forbidden by employers and used as a form of protest.
Americans became a clean-shaven country after World War II as the ‘toothbrush’ or ‘dictator’ mustache gave all mustaches a bad name. From Adolf Hitler to Joseph Stalin, mustaches soon became a symbol of dictatorship, and in a country that prides itself on democracy, that did not sit well in America.
In fact, Republican Governor Thomas E. Dewey’s bids for the presidency in 1944 and 1948 resulted in two resounding defeats of which some claim were due to that fact that he had a mustache and therefore was not welcome in the White House.
This mustache-free culture remained into the early 1960s when peace-loving beatniks high on acid revolted against the aggression of the Korean Conflict.
Growing facial hair and forming a race of peoples that would become known as “Mustached Americans,” or the Latin, “Labia Sebuclans,” meaning “lip sweater wearers,” became just as much of a key component in the movement as making love on park benches and working in homeless shelters.
President John F. Kennedy took notice of the mustache uprising and began looking at means to curb mustache growth in the U.S. and essentially initiated and organized a campaign aimed at wiping out “Mustached Americans.”
According to the American Mustache Institute (AMI), JFK’s goal in doing this was to turn the country into a bare-lipped, cat-loving, utterly weak society filled only with men and women lacking the intestinal fortitude, strength, astounding good looks, and manhood which had become synonymous with mustaches throughout the history of mankind.
Today, AMI is working hard to pass the Stimulus to Allow Critical Hair Expenses – or the STACHE Act – by next year. The STACHE Act will allow for a $250 deductible that would come under Internal Revenue Code Section 212.
Describing mustaches as “economically and environmentally friendly,” the AMI says that the current limitation on the deductibility of mustache grooming supplies and accessories, as well as the taxation of the additional earnings of the “Mustached American,” provides a disincentive for the clean-shaven to enjoy the “Mustached American” lifestyle.
Associate professor of accounting and tax policy at Northeastern State University in Tahlequah, Okla. John Yeutter claims that his research concluded that 50 million households have clean-shaven men residing in them and that if 5 percent of those fellows grew mustaches, their earnings should increase by more than $6.8 billion.
In other words, growing a mustache may not be such a bad idea.
Like any man’s mustache growing process, the historical growth of the mustache was a slow one that became fuller over time. In the 18th and 19th centuries a mustache was identified with masculinity and power. The British Army, for instance, forbade the shaving of the upper lip in any of its ranks since the 19th century until the regulation was abolished by an Army Order in 1916.
The Middle Ages were replete with mustaches. Roman Emperor Charlemagne championed them. His great victory over the Moors celebrated in the "Song of Roland" was widely believed to be a battle over whose mustache style would prevail in Europe.
Charlemagne’s supporters preferred the more free-form style, while the Muslim-inspired mustaches of the Moors were highly stylized and beyond the European barbers' capabilities of the time.
This caused the Moors to lobby Charlemagne to "fight to the death to defend our freedom of lips.” The pope, who preferred a shaggy handlebar mustache, later crowned Charlemagne the first Holy Roman Emperor as a result.
The French have never made up their minds about mustaches. They're in. They're out. Clemenceau sported one, as did Louis XIV, but Henry V did not. Proust had one, but Sartre and Camus gave up on them.
Efforts to banish the mustache from society proved to be in vain. The Pharaoh Teqikencola outlawed mustaches among the
elite of Egyptian society in 1870 BC, only to be overrun by mustachioed bandits from the countryside, which led to his downfall.
But it’s true that in many other religions in the past the mustache was seen as a symbol of wisdom. Confucius once said, “A man without a mustache is a man without a soul.”
With such insightful words, it is no wonder that the mustache became a sign of wisdom within Asian culture. Even he wore long, fine streams of perfect hair emanating from the corners of his perpetual wry smile.
Though Buddha is often depicted as clean-shaven in the images found in South Asia, historians say he wore a tight, fashionable mustache. This is corroborated by images found is West and Central Asia.
Buddha is widely believed to be among the holiest men who ever walked the earth. Jesus, also noted for his godliness, has been said to have had a mustache. Holiness and mustaches it seems are inseparable.
In the United States, mustaches have been prevalent in politics and history throughout. Abraham Lincoln grew a mustache while he wrote the Gettysburg Address, and General Grant had one when he beat the Confederates at Vicksburg.
These cultures may still respect their history enough to appreciate mustaches, but this is not keeping them from rapidly becoming a society with bare upper-lips.
A story about the mustache in the age of the metro-sexual male, a man who has a strong concern for his appearance and isn’t afraid of embracing his feminine side, may seem like an outdated storyline in itself, but if metro-sexual is the latest fad, shaving off mustaches is already a mass phenomenon.
Just think of male politicians, actors, journalists, singers, models and you will find that an overwhelming majority are without a mustache. If there is one common lifestyle trait that unites the urban Nepali male today, it is shaving off facial hair.
Studies have shown that as recently as a decade or 15 years back, most adult men in Nepal used to wear a mustache, and about 100 years ago almost every man worldwide had one.
This has been a trend throughout many countries, and one of the main reasons why men have not been following their religious traditions as closely is because they are becoming increasingly guided by reason. Hindu males have held the belief that they should not shave their mustaches so long as their parents are alive. But today, only a few clean-shaven men feel such stigma, for they don’t see any correlation between the mustache and their parents’ lives.
Wisdom and religion are not enough anymore to keep men mustachioed. Men used to strongly identify their mustache with their virility and power in the past, but what causes them to choose bare lips over the “lip sweater” is one primary factor: women.
Let’s face it. Women’s rights gave females a stronger voice in more matters than just politics. They are now more empowered to speak up about any issue that concerns them. In this case, the disapproval of mustaches on their men.
Conducting a survey of 20 female Trinity International University (TIU) students revealed that the main reason why women encourage men to shave their mustache is because they give men an “old” and “dirty” look.
When asked if it was attractive for a male to sport the ‘stache, 100 percent replied “no” without hesitation. When asked why not, many replied saying that anyone under the age of 70 with a mustache looks “shady.” Other descriptions included “sleezy,” “creepy” and “ridiculous unless you’re talking about Johnny Depp.”
TIU junior Emily Sell said she doesn’t mind her boyfriend having a beard, but would discourage him if he wanted to grow a mustache.
“Beards are attractive – they are manly and rustic,” she said. “But mustaches scream creepy, greasy, middle-aged used car salesman.”
Of the women surveyed, 60 percent of them agreed with Sell, saying that other facial hair is “manly” and “sexy,” but a mustache on its own is out of style.
So men, be encouraged. Women are still dubbing rugged manliness as attractive despite the rise in popularity of the metro-sexual image.
But according to Executive Director of AMI Dr. Aaron Perlut, the problems come when men are willing to give up their ‘stache in order to please women.
Arguing that the mustache is the ultimate power while the beard and goatee are only the half-way points, Perlut encourages men to embrace their masculinity by growing a mustache despite the responses they get.
“Women don’t have the right to ask him to shave,” he said. “It’s all about tolerance, ladies. I don’t care how much it tickles when he kisses you.” Perlut elaborated further, arguing that the one-time symbol of male virility seems to have fallen flat before the changing taste of the fairer sex.
Growing his first mustache at age seven, Perlut took pride in it even though his classmates made fun of him. It was while he was growing up in Virginia that his worldview on the “Mustached American” people would be shaped.
He claims that he experienced first-hand the harsh world of discrimination whenhe was not allowed to participate in youth football due to concerns by league organizers who believed his mustache would provide him with an unfair advantage against the other kids.
This discrimination is what ignited the passion for him to get involved with AMI to help them achieve their goal: “Protecting the rights of and fighting discrimination against mustached Americans by promoting the growth, care and culture of the mustache.”
It is not every day that you hear about “Mustached Americans” partnering with the Challenger Baseball league to support children with disabilities, or planning a benefit concert they call the “Stash Bash” that only features music artists with mustaches.
Fake mustaches are handed to everyone at the door along with a bottle of beer. And though it may not look like your normal charity function, AMI continues to be one of the primary supporters of the Challengers and isn’t planning on going anywhere soon.
The Challengers are only one of many charities benefitting from “Mustached Americans” across the nation. You may have noticed a much larger amount of men sporting the ‘stache during March, an event that devotedly celebrates moustaches for one month.
Men are encouraged to flaunt any kind of mustache that they can grow during this month. Some have competitions; others just join in for the fun.
TIU seniors Jesse Flanagan and Marcus Mols joined together with a group of guys on campus to participate in Mustache March this year for the sake of counter-acting culture.
“It was ridiculous and so much fun,” Flanagan said. “We spent days just laughing at each other.” Mols agreed, proclaiming that this is an experience that every male should have at least once in his life.
Males who struggle with growing a mustache most likely suffer from Bare Upper Lip Disorder (BULD) and are encouraged by the AMI to take the following steps in order to overcome this “embarrassment.”
● Blend nose hair with the mustache to make it fuller
● Use what you have – it’s all about effort
● Use Rogaine if you need to – the more the harrier
● Drink Jack Daniels, more than your doctor would prescribe
● Dance as much as possible
● If nothing else, encourage those who can grow one
The “Temporary Cultural Movement for the Benefit of Charity” (TCMBC) recognized the need to revive a once-glorious grooming practice and figured raising a few bucks in the process couldn’t hurt.
Awareness is spread mostly by word-of-mouth and an end-of-the-month chili cook-off, and for 2010 TCMBC totaled in $5,964 simply by growing a mustache.
Similarly, the Mustaches for Kids Organization partners with other children’s charities such as DonorsChoose.org and Make-A-Wish Foundation in order to do good and have fun by growing mustaches for a facial hair marathon.
At the end of the four-week Growing Season, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, the “sweetest” mustache is chosen in a competition involving a cross between a beauty pageant, dog show and police line-up. The website invites anyone interested in growing with them to dedicate four weeks of their lives to a great mustache for a great cause.
Despite the obstacles that the “Mustached American” has had to face, the AMI declares that today is the apex for mustaches. Affirming that all styles and lengths are embraced, they proclaim that it is a time of mustache freedom.
The AMI calls anyone who is proudly sporting a mustache “to be vigilant and to defend the mustache to the death.”
